What do you do?

To me, the innocuous "what do you do?", the first question one is likely to be asked upon being introduced, is a very fraught one.  It has lately been asked of me rather frequently; being new in town, we seem to be constantly introduced to people whom we meet for the first time on different occasions.  These days an awkward pause inevitably follows that question and the answer I come up with is usually unsatisfactory to me.  The reason of my pause and dissatisfaction is complicated and by writing about it I am hoping to sort it out for myself, a little bit at a time.


One of the fallouts of being unemployed is that it prevents one from giving a no-brainer answer right off the bat when asked what one does for a living - an answer which seems not only to define one professionally but also as a person.  It gives people a convenient handle to place one in a social milieu, a name which calls up instant images, whether or not they have any basis in reality or resemble one in any way, in the mind of the person one's being introduced to and with which that person throws over one like a veil.  Without that convenient title, one is lost in the myriad crowd of nameless humanity, indistinct and hard to pin down.


What do I do for a living?  In a not too distant past, I used to be able to reply with alacrity that "I am an architect!", which, like a badge of honor, was something to be proud of.  I was, however, never comfortable saying that, for it gave people an erroneous impression about me which the title 'architect' conjured up in people's mind.  I acquired the title late in life through the conventional path of education, internship, and examination, which took up the past 10 years of my life.  As such, compared to a seasoned architect, my architectural career was only at its infancy and now already interrupted before it had barely taken off.  Am I an architect, even though I am not 'making a living' as one but holding an active registration?  How much does the title 'architect' describe me?  Very little, I'm afraid.  


So, what do I do for a living?  "Nothing at all at present" would be the proper answer. People look at me funnily if I say so.  Someone said to me recently that "... while you, you do nothing!", another that "so, you, just stay at home?"  It was remarks like these which got me thinking.  What does 'making a living' mean?  Is making a living living?  Are there alternative ways to live than devoting all of your life to making a living?  It seems to me that as this enterprise of making a living tends to be very time-consuming or all-consuming that we substitute it for living.  It becomes living de facto and takes on so much significance as to define a person's life and identity...


I'm afraid that I'm not all that clear about what my thinking is regarding this question of livelihood but I'll continue to work on it.  Of course, I am well aware that I won't be writing about this if I had to worry about where my next meal will come from.